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The Bare Life Review
Founded in 2017, The Bare Life Review is a literary biannual devoted entirely to work by immigrant and refugee authors. Though the impulse behind its creation was political—to support a population currently under attack—the journal's focus remains wholly artistic, publishing work on a wide variety of themes. Submissions are accepted August 15-November 30. Contributors must be foreign-born writers living in the US, or writers living abroad who hold refugee or asylum-seeker status. Translations are accepted. This is a paying market.
The Barricade
By Ned Condini
I would be glad to take his place
like a prince of orphans, to enjoy
my pinch of power in the royal hall.
But this elusive king leaves the door
ajar, warm coffee on the table,
the lights on & the book still open.
I lunge thinking there's the answer
& find a whiff of incense wafting
beyond the room into the dark where he vanished.
I know he will always be
millions of years away from me,
isolated on the remotest star;
yet the fact that he seems to move
when I, too, move makes me believe I'm on his track.
Fulfilling myself yet struggling
to get rid of the self that's me,
I am the Pompei man who saw
what was coming yet stretched out his hand to save
one piece at least of the barricade erected
against you, fighting you tooth and nail,
gripping the axe of his youth.
The Bean Trees
Written in 1988, the first novel by this now well-known author and activist is first of all a heartwarming and funny story about an unlikely "family of choice" formed by a single mother and her baby, a young woman fleeing her dead-end Southern town, and an abandoned Native American toddler. More ambitious than the typical "relationship novel", the story puts a human face on political issues like interracial adoption and the plight of South American refugees.
The Best American Short Stories 1999
A particularly fine installment of this annual series, the 1999 anthology includes a wide spectrum of styles and ethnic backgrounds, with emotionally compelling tales that leave the reader with much to ponder. Standouts include Nathan Englander's 'The Tumblers', which casts the shadow of the Holocaust over Yiddish folklore's mythical village of Chelm; Sheila Kohler's 'Africans', a quietly chilling account of a family's disintegration under apartheid; and Heidi Julavits' 'Marry the One Who Gets There First', an unlikely love story told through wedding-album outtakes.
The Big Book of Exit Strategies
By Jamaal May. The award-winning poet's second collection from Alice James Books explores bereavement, masculinity, risk, tenderness, gun violence, and the unacknowledged vitality of his beloved Detroit, in verse that is both muscular and musical. Nominated for the 2017 NAACP Image Awards for Outstanding Literary Work in Poetry.
The Bind
Founded by award-winning poet Rochelle Hurt, The Bind is an online journal that reviews poetry books by women and nonbinary authors. They review chapbooks, full-length collections, hybrid works, and translations. The Bind is interested in intersectional and feminist writing. Read a 2017 interview with Hurt on Trish Hopkinson's blog. Visit their website for guidelines for pitching articles and requesting reviews.
The BitterSweet Review
Launched in London in 2022, The BitterSweet Review is a publishing platform dedicated to the advancement of queer literature and visual culture. In addition to the biannual literary journal, which is published in print and online, they offer workshops and limited-edition artwork for sale.
The Block
By Sherry Ballou Hanson
I used to be an oak
before they cut me down.
I was substantial they said.
Catholic bells pealed for generations
and stars danced in my branches
all the nights of my life
as a tree in a wood
along the Thames
but things change. One day they came
and I was hauled out dead
before the sun had set;
better to have silvered among the stumps
than do the devil's work.
I was paired with axe
and together we served the Tower
four hundred long years,
shrinking from the screams at Tyburn
and the mob at Tower Hill
until it was our turn.
The first was worst, a mess of blood,
the severed head cut loose;
we scarce could stand the shame.
When Lady Jane knelt at last,
I felt my death again, wondered
how axe and I came to this fate,
but one goes on.
When the Earl of Essex
finally bowed his head,
we prayed for a sharpened blade.
Seven times we stood to the duty.
Axe kept his shine and I my gloss
but we were hollowed out.
Scrubbed clean now we are shunned
by all except the rack and manacles.
Nights in the Tower are cold,
and life was beautiful as a tree.
This poem was published in her collection A Cab to Stonehenge (Just Write Books, 2006) and was part of the portfolio that won the 2014 Paumanok Poetry Award.
The Blue Mountain Review
Published by the Southern Collective, the Blue Mountain Review is a quarterly journal of arts and culture. They publish interviews with writers, lit mag editors, artists, and musicians, plus original poetry, fiction, and essays. See their website for the current theme for their annual poetry chapbook contest.
The Blues
By Joan Gelfand
"I think there's something in the pain of the blues, something deep, that touches something ancient in Jewish DNA." —Marshall Chess, founder of Chess Records, producer of Chicago blues.
It was news to me that Jews took up the chore of indigo
Dyeing. It was messy, a job in which no noble
Deigned to engage. Fingers, forearms, clothes,
Stained from steaming vats.
"The stench," they complained.
And, holding their noses they
Created a tone so rarified women fought for the right to buy.
A logical progression, this blue
Manufactured by Jews who, as you knew,
Never felt at home—and still don't.
This blue, encoded in the bones, was royal, leaped centuries to David's harp
His poems of yearning for God and Jonathan's forbidden love.
These blues wept and bled, crept along diaspora routes
All the way to Dylan. Today, we mourn Pittsburgh Jews.
The same hands that mixed indigo, lent a hand to suffering wanderers, immigrants,
The displaced, murdered. They recalled their own treacherous crossings.
The blues. The Shoah. Dachau, Pittsburgh.
Indigo, David, bloodlines. Lines of blood
And still, an outstretched arm, an open hand.
The Book Canopy
The Book Canopy is a monthly online book discussion group. They seek to build community among writers and readers through discussing socially relevant contemporary literature.
The Book Designer
This site, run by publishing and graphic design expert Joel Friedlander, gives resources to help self-publishing authors design professional-looking books. The site includes articles on marketing, a guide to software options, typeface suggestions, and book design templates.
The Book of Folly
The mother goddess of female confessional poets, Sexton brings back the truths that lie on the other side of madness. The sonnet sequence "Angels of the Love Affair" presents a visceral depiction of psychosis that is almost unbearably real.
The Book Rescuer
By Sue Macy, illustrated by Stacy Innerst. This inspiring picture-book biography of Aaron Lansky, founder of the Yiddish Book Center in Amherst, Massachusetts, is enhanced with Chagall-inspired paintings of Jewish history. A good story in its own right, the book can also prompt educational conversations about heritage and assimilation, for children of Jewish and non-Jewish backgrounds alike.
The Bookends Review
Founded in 2012 by creative writing and composition professor Jordan Blum, The Bookends Review is an online journal publishing fiction, nonfiction, poetry, author interviews, essays, book reviews, and visual/musical works from around the world.
The Boy in the Rain
By Stephanie Cowell. In this bittersweet historical novel set in Edwardian England, a young painter and an aspiring socialist politician fall in love, but their idyll is overshadowed by the criminalization of homosexuality. This book stands out for its meditative, introspective prose and its insight into how the bonds of love are tested, broken, and re-created as two people mature.
The Bride Price
Bittersweet romance set on the American frontier tells the story of a white woman and a half-Indian soldier who hope their love is strong enough to survive prejudice and the dangers of army life. The hero's seduction of a married woman is hard to square with his generally noble character, but his displays of leadership and grace under pressure are worth emulating.
The Brown Bookshelf
This book review website is designed to raise awareness of the myriad of African-American voices writing for young readers. Their flagship initiative is 28 Days Later, a month-long showcase of the best in Picture Books, Middle Grade and Young Adult novels written and illustrated by African-Americans.
The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest
We are straying from poetry here, but it's worth it. This contest asks entrants to compose the opening sentence of the worst of all possible novels. Named for Victorian novelist Edward Bulwer-Lytton, originator of Snoopy's favorite opening line, 'It was a dark and stormy night.' Entry is free. The winner receives notoriety. Read the Lyttony of Grand Prize Winners.
The Business of Art: Fair Use and Copyright Law
Postmodern art raises novel copyright questions by extensively appropriating words, images and sounds from existing works by other artists. This article from the New York Foundation for the Arts probes the boundaries of fair use.
The Business of Being a Writer
By Jane Friedman. The expert publishing blogger teaches writers about the economics of their industry in this book from the University of Chicago Press. The book is intended to help writers craft a realistic plan for earning money from their work.
The Cafe Review
Contributors have included Paul Muldoon and Taylor Mali.
The Caged Guerrilla
The Caged Guerrilla is a podcast by incarcerated writer Raheem A. Rahman about prison life, urban culture, the barriers we build for ourselves in society, and the struggle to stay free in spirit. His book of poetry and reflections by the same title is available on Amazon.
The Carcinogenic Bride
When the Big C meets the Big D, all you can do is laugh. At least, that's where poet Cindy Hochman's survival instinct takes her. Packed with more puns than a Snickers bar has peanuts, this chapbook from Thin Air Media Press brings energetic wit to bear on those modern monsters, breast cancer and divorce. To order a copy ($5.00), email Cindy at poet2680@aol.com.
The Case Against Happiness
The genially bewildered characters in this unique first collection of poetry try and fail to fit themselves into the American dream of personal satisfaction, but only because they are genuinely groping for a more substantial mode of existence that always remains just beyond the margins of thought and language. Pecqueur's wild associative leaps mirror his inability to find the coherent, contented self that the Enlightenment promised. This book won the 2005 Kinereth Gensler Award from Alice James Books.
The Center of the Universe
By P.M. Flynn
Behind,
thick stones are colder, deeper than time emptied,
poured into each moment that passes between clouds
that eventually disappear on the horizon.
Shadows on darkness fall from the mountains:
the sacred moving slower than geologists say,
as we turn to the bright autumn air.
(Clouds fall even in darkness.)
Under each rising sun, when there is no darkness; still—
they've always fallen. When there are shadows they fall again:
today; on the ground with less space for the sun or moon.
Before you left falling behind, before you left falling
from them, sounds always fell behind the horizon:
what is lowest behind each forest;
like trees circling the imperfect edges of me,
fallen;
touched.
There, I hear a voice before I was made, before midnight
when the universe of blue spaces between clouds of importance
closed; space you ran to seeking another new moon, or sun;
or sky with horizons closer to the center of the universe.
In seeking the center,
the blue spaces of universe first;
first:
there is no mountain,
then there is;
then there is no mountain.
(I've heard my heartbeat there.)
Then there is.
If there is darkness, you will know. If there is darkness
in the stillness between shadows falling across these mountains
I already know.
The Chapbook Review
The name of this monthly online journal is self-explanatory. In addition to reviews of new poetry and literary prose chapbooks, the site features critical essays and interviews with authors and publishers. Reviews display a lively voice and eclectic tastes.
The Character Therapist
Having trouble with your fictional characters' motivations? Wondering how to depict mental illness accurately? Jeannie Campbell, LMFT, will sit your imaginary friends down on the couch for a diagnosis.
The Chicago Manual of Style, 16th Edition
Create work that meets today's professional standards with guidance on grammar, usage, formats, design and sourcing (including electronic and online sources).
The Child Finder
By Rene Denfeld. This beautifully written thriller goes deep into the minds of survivors of intergenerational trauma: some who become healers and heroes, pitted against others who pass on the evil that was done to them. In the snowbound mountain forests of the Pacific Northwest, a famed investigator with her own barely-remembered abuse history searches for a little girl who was kidnapped three years ago. Meanwhile, this resilient and imaginative child tries to maintain her sanity in captivity, by reliving her favorite fairy tale and forming a bittersweet survival bond with her captor.
The Choosing America Project
Award-winning writers and filmmakers Ricky and Lia Friesem are compiling authentic dramatic anecdotes (1,500-3,000 words) from immigrants who chose to live in America. They hope to turn some of these stories into short films that will be shown in the movies and broadcast on TV. "We are looking for those special moments, encounters, surprises, experiences, disappointments, which vividly convey what it's like to be an immigrant in America. The good, the bad, the sad, the miraculous, the joyful—every anecdote is welcome as long as it's authentic and well told." See submission guidelines on website.
The Chosen One
This chilling and all-too-real story takes place inside a fundamentalist polygamist cult in the Utah desert. Thirteen-year-old Kyra loves her extended family and tries not to question the elders' tightening grip on their lives, but when they command her to marry her 60-year-old uncle, she plans a desperate escape that could put her life at risk. Billed as a young adult novel, this book may be too disturbing for some readers in that age group.
The Clash of Life
I'm easing home across the hills and angling west to a sinking sun,
When suddenly in a clash of wills two hawks are at it, one on one,
With flashing wings and slashing bills—to fight all night for pride won't run.
They wheel and rise and go much higher, then turn and peel into a dive
That streaks the sun with a flash of fire; they swoop on up that each may strive
To make the cast they each desire—could either one remain alive?
But just as swiftly as the fight began one was struck with a telling blow
And then as vanquished turned and ran, a desperate glide to the void below
Far from the sun and the eyes of man—to the haven only darkness could bestow.
But the victor rose once more on high, to salute in triumph the fading light,
As though into the sinking sun to fly, to cut its rays with glistening might,
To stake his claim to all the sky—then turned and streaked beyond my sight.
As I turned to follow the homeward trail the red of the sun was almost done,
But that clash of hawks, one strong one frail, had asked of me would I be brave or run,
Would I in the clash of life prevail—to make my glory flash in the sinking sun.
Copyright 2006 by John R. Sabine
Critique by Jendi Reiter
I chose this month's critique poem, "The Clash of Life" by John R. Sabine, for its skillful use of rhyme and meter and its dramatic imagery. Sabine's is an old-fashioned poem, not just stylistically, but also in the boldness with which the author delineates the moral lesson that we should take from nature.
Nineteenth-century writers were especially fond of such exhortations and inspirational conclusions in their nature poetry. Examples include Henry Wadsworth Longfellow's "Seaweed" (urging the strong-willed poet to seize and preserve fleeting moments), William Cullen Bryant's "To a Waterfowl" (the bird returning safely to its nest gives him assurance of heaven), and William Blake's "Auguries of Innocence" (seeing our mistreatment of animals as a sign of original sin). Emily Dickinson also frequently compared herself to small creatures such as birds, insects, or flowers, to remind herself to be content with the crumbs of happiness that God gave her. (See, for example, #230, #335, #442.)
With the decline of traditional religion among the intelligentsia, and the advent of Darwinism, this type of poem fell out of fashion because it was no longer taken for granted that nature revealed God's moral order. We see glimmerings of this doubt in Alfred, Lord Tennyson's "In Memoriam", from which comes the famous phrase "nature red in tooth and claw", and the skeptical tone of voice had become well-established by the time of Robert Frost's "Design". However, the popularity of contemporary poets like Mary Oliver suggests that there is still an audience for optimistic, inspiring pastoral verse.
Sabine's poem displays some of the characteristic strengths and weaknesses of the genre. On the plus side, humanity has always sensed that the animal world contained spiritual wisdom. Most of us have known the feeling of kinship with a creature whose struggles and passions seemed to mirror our own. This moment of recognition, similar to what we feel when a work of art touches us deeply, somehow ennobles our personal drama by suggesting that it is connected to a universal story. On the minus side, poems that draw a neat moral from nature can be unsatisfying because they leave out too much of the strangeness that makes nature so awe-inspiring. Sometimes her lessons are neither clear nor heartwarming.
"The Clash of Life" takes this very precariousness as its subject. Sabine shows us the fearful glory of the hawks' battle to the death. Nature is beautiful but also terrible. In fact, it is nature's lack of compassion for weakness that pushes these creatures to heroic extremes of strength and skill. Though the awareness of danger and uncertainty fits the modern sensibility, this poem harks back to the Victorians in its confidence that the human observer can be the master of his fate. It does not end with a message of submission to natural law or the superior sensitivity of animals, the way contemporary nature poetry often does, but with acceptance of "survival of the fittest" as a principle of self-improvement.
The lack of moral ambiguity in this poem—the defeated hawk does not get a lot of sympathy—for me makes the lesson somewhat less realistic and compelling. On the other hand, Sabine's unabashed celebration of a victorious warrior strikes a nice note of contrast to the maudlin sanctification of the underdog that afflicts much contemporary poetry about politics or the environment. Every era has its characteristic extremes.
Despite the cautionary words above, I wouldn't advise Sabine to change the poem much. My main edits would be to tighten the phrasing of some lines so that the meter flows more smoothly, because the beat plays such a key role in transmitting the energy and tension of the scene.
I was also perplexed by the phrase "to make the cast they each desire". Since the hawks are probably not auditioning for a play, I assumed they were fighting over prey, "casting" the way a fisherman casts a line. "Cast" here would mean something like aiming correctly to hit their target. The unusual use of the word makes the storyline unclear, though, and I would change it to something like "seize the prey" if that is what Sabine is trying to describe.
The template for each line of this poem is eight iambs, with the rhymes on the fourth and eighth stressed syllables of each line in the stanza—basically an ABABAB rhyme scheme without the line breaks after the A's. Omitting those line breaks emphasizes the hawks' headlong, high-pressure race to survive.
If Sabine wanted to make the meter of the first line more regular, he could eliminate the word "west" because we already know that the sun sets in the west. "Angling toward the sinking sun" would convey the same information. Since the first two stanzas follow the meter quite precisely, this change is optional. Slight variations (as in line 2, with the extra unstressed syllable in "suddenly," or the two-syllable rhymes "higher/fire/desire") help avoid a sing-song intonation.
The meter becomes more careless in the third stanza, and here I feel that editing is more necessary. Fortunately, most of the key words and phrases can be preserved. I would rewrite it along these lines:
"But swiftly as the fight began, one hawk sustained [or "was struck"] a telling blow
And then as vanquished turned and ran, a desperate glide to the void below
Far from the sun and the eyes of man—for darkness its haven to bestow."
The last line is still a bit wordy, but I like the rhetorical pattern of the first half enough to retain it. The reversed verb order in the second half is old-fashioned, but that does not seem out of place in this poem.
The first line of the final stanza could be rewritten as "the reddening day was almost done". This avoids the repetition of the word "sun" and the excessive internal rhymes using that sound. In the next line, I would tighten the meter again by omitting "of me".
I'm having a hard time with the final line, because it has 20 syllables rather than the correct 16—a bagginess that lessens its impact in a poem that just has to end with a bang—yet the phrases themselves strike just the right note, and I'm hesitant to pick them apart. "To make my glory flash in the sinking sun" has at least two too many syllables, but every word is necessary. The "sinking" sun suggests that the window of opportunity is brief, and that death overshadows even the victor. This tragic irony is essential in a poem that could otherwise feel too triumphalist. Possible rewrites are "Would I in the clash of life prevail—my glory flash in the sinking sun" or "a glorious flash in the sinking sun", but perhaps these are less satisfying in terms of meaning. Such are the tough choices that formal poetry requires! I commend Sabine for telling a compelling story in natural-sounding contemporary language, while remaining mostly within the constraints of his chosen form.
Where could a poem like "The Clash of Life" be submitted? The following contests may be of interest:
Firstwriter.com International Poetry Competition
Entries must be received by October 1
Prizes up to 500 pounds for poems 30 lines or less (published or unpublished), from UK-based writers' resource site; enter online only
Edgar Bowers Prize
Postmark Deadline: October 15
One of several Georgia Poetry Society contests offering $75 for unpublished poems, this prize commemorates Georgia poet Edgar Bowers (1924-2000), whose compact and rigorous formalism defined the spirit of his work
Soul-Making Literary Competition
Postmark Deadline: November 30
Prizes up to $100 for poetry and prose that illuminates humanity's search for the sacred and the drive to realize one's potential; sponsored by the National League of American Pen Women (Nob Hill Branch) but open to both men and women
Other publications that might welcome a poem like "The Clash of Life" include Measure: An Annual Review of Formal Poetry (successor to The Formalist) and the e-zine The HyperTexts.
This poem and critique appeared in the September 2006 issue of Winning Writers Newsletter (subscribe free).
The Cloud That Contained the Lightning
By Cynthia Lowen. Elegant and unforgiving as equations, these poems hold us accountable for living in the nuclear age. Persona poems in the voice of J. Robert Oppenheimer, "the father of the atomic bomb", reveal self-serving rationalizations and belated remorse, while other poems give voice to the victims of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. This collection is notable for exposing the emotional logic of scientific imperialism, rather than revisiting familiar scenes of the bomb's devastating effects. Winner of the National Poetry Series, selected by Nikky Finney.
The Collected Short Stories of Louis L’Amour, Volume 6: The Crime Stories
The famed writer of Westerns was also a master of the hard-boiled crime story. These action-packed noir tales are populated with treacherous dames, mobsters, prizefighters, coal miners, scam artists, and decent guys trying to survive against the odds.
The Comics Journal
An online publication from comics press Fantagraphics, The Comics Journal features in-depth history, creator interviews, and reviews of comics and graphic narratives.
The Common
The Common is affiliated with Amherst College in Massachusetts. The editorial board includes well-known authors such as Richard Wilbur, Mary Jo Salter, and Honor Moore. Editors say, "The Common publishes fiction, essays, poetry, documentary vignettes, and images that embody particular times and places both real and imagined; from deserts to teeming ports; from Winnipeg to Beijing; from Earth to the Moon: literature and art powerful enough to reach from there to here."
The Complete Review
Reviews for over 900 books new and old. Concise and opinionated. Good at calling attention to obscure but worthy books. Genres include poetry. We also enjoy their blog, the Literary Saloon.
The Cow
The Cow is like putting Western Literature through a sausage-making machine. The Cow is about being a girl and also a person. Is it possible? "Alimenting the world perpetuates it. Duh. Plus 'the world' is itself a food." The integrated self equals sanity and civilization (whose machinery creates the slaughterhouse), yet the body is constantly disintegrating, eating and being eaten, being penetrated and giving birth. With manic humor and desperate honesty, Reines finds hope by facing the extremes of embodiment without judgment or disgust. Winner of the 2006 Alberta Prize from FENCE Books.
The Crafty Poet: A Portable Workshop
Edited by Diane Lockward. This anthology, suitable for both individual and classroom use, features craft essays and exercises for poets of all skill levels. It includes model poems and prompts, writing tips, and interviews contributed by 56 well-known American poets, including 13 former and current state Poets Laureate. Volume II is also available. Lockward is the editor of Terrapin Books, an independent publisher of poetry collections and anthologies.
The Creative Independent
The Creative Independent is an ever-expanding resource of emotional and practical guidance for creative people. The website features brief interviews and essays by writers and artists in various disciplines, on topics ranging from starting a business to coping with adversity.
The Cresset
Accepts submissions of poetry, essays and book reviews.
The Crossing
I am drawn to such tales:
St. Kenneth and the Gulls
who found him floating
in a creel in the Bristol Channel
only a few days old, abandoned
by his Welsh father-prince.
Who knows why.
E-e-e-e-e wailed the hungry babe,
Creee-e-e cried the wheeling saviour birds.
See how pink he is, they marveled—
as sweet as a scallop,
his eyes pieces of sky.
They carried him to their aerie
perched in craggy cliffs, pulled downy feathers
from their own breasts for a nest—
no cold stones for this orphan.
A forest doe came every morning
to feed him with her milk.
An angel offered a cup.
He grew strong and kind and joyful
happy to share in mercy
as it moved throughout the world;
revered by all the local peasants.
Is this what it takes to be loved?
To be a wild-child sailor
without words or compass,
bereft of motherlove and mothernest?
Father, where were you during my rough channel crossing?
Did you not see my infant face in your face?
Did you not hear my howls?
Copyright 2010 by Sandy Longley
Critique by Tracy Koretsky
If you are fortunate enough to have taken a class in writing poetry, you may have encountered a two-part assignment that I call "a fold". First, write a poem that describes a journey you've taken in the last day or so, say, a walk or a drive. Then, write a second poem of the same length about something very different, perhaps a second narrative or something more abstract; for example, your response to a particular color. The instructor will then ask you to start with line one of the first poem and couple it with line one of the second, and so on until the end—in other words, to fold one poem into the other. The final step is to shape the sloppy result of this hammered-together draft by adding or removing words, shifting or cutting lines, etc.
The point of this exercise is to demonstrate the potential motion of a poem, the way it zigs and zags the reader's attention over two or more elements, bringing them together and creating a greater and unique whole. Many would argue that this dynamic (the fancy word for it is "dialectic", in the sense of "tension or opposition between two interacting forces or elements") is the essential quality of poetry—what makes it a poem, as opposed to prose presented in broken lines. Its simplest manifestation is the metaphor. However, as the exercise I have just described teaches us, there are more ways to create this tension. The lesson demonstrates something else as well: the linking of two disparate concepts may not always be the product of insight and inspiration. It can be achieved through craft.
This is relevant to us here at Critique Corner, because it means that dialectic tension can be strengthened in the process of revision. The trick is recognizing which of our early drafts might profit from "folding".
I believe that Sandy Longley's "The Crossing" is one such piece. It is constructed using "bookends". That is, the first element, the authorial voice, appears in the first line and returns in the final seven, basically introducing the poem's second element and then neatly summing why the two are relevant to each other. The strength of this draft is in the depiction of the legend. It is creative, sensual, and succinct in its telling. The choices of diction, in particular, are excellent.
However, in my opinion, the structure, with its introduction and summation, are ultimately too conclusive. They direct the reader to a single, unambiguous reading. And since the "address" of this poem—the person or people to which a poem intentionally speaks—is to the poet's father, the reader is cut out of the communication. As readers, we are now more voyeurs than participants.
What would happen if the two elements of this poem were folded together? To demonstrate, I'll show two possible arrangements with the folded material in bold type. Caveat: the results are rough and incomplete. To smooth them, as described in the first paragraph of this essay, my personal style and diction choices would surely be introduced. It is not the place of someone offering suggestions toward to revision to re-write anyone else's poem. Rather, these are intended as jumping-off points the poet may choose to work from.
That said, revision one:
THE CROSSING
St. Kenneth and the Gulls
who found him floating
in a creel in the Bristol Channel
I am drawn to such tales
E-e-e-e-e wailed the hungry babe,
Creee-e-e cried the wheeling saviour birds.
See how pink he is, they marveled—
as sweet as a scallop,
his eyes pieces of sky.
Is this what it takes to be loved?
To be a wild-child sailor
without words or compass,
bereft of motherlove and mothernest?
only a few days old, abandoned
by his Welsh father-prince.
Who knows why.
They carried him to their aerie
perched in craggy cliffs, pulled downy feathers
from their own breasts for a nest—
Father, where were you during
my rough channel crossing?
no cold stones for this orphan.
A forest doe came every morning
to feed him with her milk.
An angel offered a cup.
He grew strong and kind and joyful
happy to share in mercy
as it moved throughout the world;
revered by all the local peasants.
Did you not see my infant face in your face?
Did you not hear my howls?
I have experimented with opening the poem on the subject of St. Kenneth as opposed to the subject of the author. This gives the reader an opportunity to locate whatever associations he or she might have either with St. Kenneth or the image of a babe afloat in a fishing basket with no intervention from the author. As soon as the author enters, the topic of this poem is narrowed. That's not a bad thing necessarily, but just when to direct this focus is something the poet can and should control. Notice too that, because the questions now occupy new positions, the referents in the lines "bereft of motherlove and mothernest/ only a few days old" and "this orphan" are now somewhat conflated. Are they intended to be about St. Kenneth or the author? Since this association is largely the point of the poem, the slight tension that always results from conflation is expressive.
Let's take this technique a little farther:
THE CROSSING
E-e-e-e-e wailed the hungry babe,
Creee-e-e cried the wheeling saviour birds.
See how pink he is, they marveled—
as sweet as a scallop,
his eyes pieces of sky.
I am drawn to such tales:
St. Kenneth and the Gulls
who found him floating
in a creel in the Bristol Channel
Is this what it takes to be loved?
To be a wild-child sailor
without words or compass,
bereft of motherlove and mothernest?
only a few days old, abandoned
by his Welsh father-prince.
Who knows why.
Did you not see my infant face in your face?
Did you not hear my howls?
They carried him to their aerie
perched in craggy cliffs, pulled downy feathers
from their own breasts for a nest—
Father, where were you during
my rough channel crossing?
no cold stones for this orphan.
He grew strong and kind and joyful
happy to share in mercy
as it moved throughout the world;
revered by all the local peasants.
A forest doe came every morning
to feed him with her milk.
An angel offered a cup.
In this more radical experiment, I have started the poem with its most original lines, a technique always worthwhile to consider in revision. (See Critique Corner, January 2010.)
When a narrative begins in medias res, the background is always spooned in later, frequently in disjunctive bits. This opens the structure of the narrative and gives both author and reader greater freedom. I took advantage of the slight shift to authorial voice in the words "who knows why" to turn the poem radically to the subject of the author. Notice that, as readers, we have no problem following the narrative even with these turnings. We don't yet know who the "you" is in those lines—it could be St. Kenneth, for example, or the reader—but that question is resolved in just a few lines. In the meantime, it creates an interesting suspense.
One problem a poet must always grapple with when reworking the structure of a poem is the final line. Although I personally found the questions addressed to "Father" too directive, ending with the simple conclusion of the St. Kenneth legend fell flat. It is always an interesting option to end the poem with a new image. The line "an angel offered a cup" leads me as a reader to ask what would have been the fate of the author had a cup been offered to her. What would have been my fate had a cup been offered to me? And how very sad for both of us that no such cup was forthcoming. It is an image of lack and longing—universal feelings that give the reader a chance to respond to something about him- or herself, not just to something about the speaker of the poem.
The fascinating part of all this jiggering is that Longley's original intent—an entreaty to her father—is never lost. Rather, shadings of that intent are layered on as we all learn about St. Kenneth and ask ourselves what it takes to be loved.
Using the folding technique has, I believe, enriched "The Crossing". In other instances the same technique can actually create multiple concurrent meanings. This is what is known as "complexity". Let me be clear: complexity is not obscurity. It does not refer to poems that use a sort of personal code or otherwise do not permit readers to parse them. In fact, the opposite. Complexity invites the reader to derive his or her own meanings in addition to the author's initial intent. It opens a poem and invites participation, keeping the poem interesting throughout several readings. And perhaps most relevant to us here at Winning Writers, it is probably the quality that most often moves a poem into the second round of a contest.
Where could a poem like "The Crossing" be submitted? The following contests may be of interest:
Naugatuck River Review Narrative Poetry Contest
Entries must be received by September 1
Top prize of $1,000 from this literary journal based in Western Massachusetts; enter online only
Sacramento Poetry Center Annual Contest
Entries must be received by September 15
Local poetry society offers prizes up to $100 and a reading at the Sacramento Poetry Center in California
James Hearst Poetry Prize
Postmark Deadline: October 31
North American Review, a venerable journal that favors accessible narrative free verse, offers prizes up to $1,000 plus publication for winners and finalists
National Poetry Competition
Postmark Deadline: October 31
The Poetry Society (UK) offers top prize of 5,000 pounds for unpublished poems by authors aged 17+; online entries accepted
This poem and critique appeared in the August 2011 issue of Winning Writers Newsletter (subscribe free).
The Curator Magazine
The Curator is a literary journal that explores the meaning and matters of the heart and spirit reflected in cultural objects, experiences, and the arts. Their site publishes at least one piece of prose (including creative nonfiction essays, reviews and interviews) and one poem each week. Editors say, "We curate writing about art intersecting with humanity. Aesthetically, we desire to showcase a diverse range of voices, artforms, and styles, but we do not accept academic essays. We do publish personal essays, interviews, reviews, reported stories, and memoir with a tie to an artwork, piece of music, or an everyday object." Submit 1-3 poems, or an essay pitch of 150-250 words, via their online form.
The Dead Alive and Busy
These carefully structured poems, tinged with classical allusions, honor the sick and dying with the poet's patient vigil and unflinching observation of the body's joys and failures. Winner of the 2001 Kingsley Tufts Award.
The Dial
Subtitled "the world's little magazine," The Dial was founded in 2022 to create an international dialogue among writers and journalists on themes of social change. Editors say, "Our pieces will be topical and of-the-moment, but not pegged to the day's news. We aspire to convey the contradictions, sorrows, and comedies of the contemporary moment, to write the present in order to create a future." They publish essays, reporting, and poetry.
The Difficult Farm
By Heather Christle. The haunted-looking one-eared rabbit on the cover is an apt mascot for these poems, whose randomness can be both sinister and humorous. The title carries echoes of "the funny farm", slang for an asylum, the place where persons deemed "difficult" are shut away, laughed at for the nonsense they speak. But is it nonsense? Christle's poems are held together by tone rather than logic. They have the cadence and momentum of building an argument, but are composed of non sequiturs. But the individual observations within that stream of consciousness often ring so true that you may find yourself nodding along. The speakers of these poems are eager for connection through talk, while recognizing that we mostly use language for social glue rather than sincere information exchange. So why not serve up a "radiant salad" of words?
The Difficulties
By Ruth Hill
The difficulties in trying to save
your enemies' children
—the innocents, collateral damage—
is that they belong so thoroughly
to your enemies
Handing candy to them in the refugee camps
you see it in their eyes
they have already learned to throw stones
waggle their tongues at you like wild turkeys
to repeat the irrational rationale
of why you are their enemy—'infidel'—
your food and your kindnesses,
their rightful plunder
This poem won an honorable mention in the 2013 Poets for Human Rights contest.
The Disappeared
By Norbert Hirschhorn
What makes us human is soil.
Even landfill of bones, shredded jeans;
mass graves paved over for parking.
What makes us human are portraits
—graduation, weddings—
mounted in house shrines and on fliers, Have You Seen?
Names inscribed around memorial pools
or incised on granite. Names waiting,
waiting for that slide of DNA, or any piece of flesh—
for the haunted to be put to rest.
What makes us human is soil.
To stare into a hole in the ground,
fill with the deceased, throw earth down,
place a stone. Bread. Salt.
For Fouad Mohammed Fouad
The Divine Salt
The spirit of St. Francis of Assisi presides over these plain-spoken poems, written from the perspective of a mental hospital orderly. Blair's kind and understated voice is a refreshing contrast to the melodramatic tone of much poetry about mental illness.
